Recently there was some hullabuloo over some videos online.
I know. Stop the presses. People are enraged over videos on YouTube. Never have we seen that before. Yet here this is just the tip of the iceburg of a giant media shitstorm. The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria! Oh. Did I just reuse a line from a famous movie out of context and with little of the orignal’s humor and quality? Hmm. I am getting ahead of myself.
If you have been living without the internet or television, there is a Ghostbusters remake coming outsoon. It is being run by Sony Pictures Entertainment (via their Columbia Pictures division), the fine studio that brought you the recent Spider-man reboot that worked so well that they needed to reboot Spider-man again less than four years later using a Marvel Studios film. Ghostbusters is their newest reboot. They announced the set up is an all female team. This is when the mucus hit the fan. Gender politics, not the quality of a film, became the focus as misogynist asshole trolls and armchair feminist clickbait blogs decided this film was going to decide gender norms for the next millenia. Meanwhile, Ghostbusters fans had to deal with a needless studio mandated reboot with all these politics as a rotten cherry on top of a shit sundae.
James Rolfe, known for his Angry Video Game Nerd and other videos at Cinemassacre, made a video stating he flat out refused to see the new Ghostbusters. He gave a non-review of the long history of a fans waiting for a new Ghostbusters film and, in a calm reasonable way, state why he refused to see the new reboot film. I caught this as I Cinemassacre is one of the few subscriptions I have on YouTube. I thought it summed up most of my own feelings on another horrible reboot and the whole Hollywood system of taking brand names to sell new films without qualities of the original. Then I saw the non-review had gotten noticed by the mainstream media. And by mainstream media, I mean the litany of idiots with blogs that passes for journalism in today’s wired culture. (What’s next? Some asshole with a website posting rants and photos of toys?) Many writers for websites and newspapers slung names like “man baby” or “limp dicked” because he didn’t like the upcoming film. Dane Cook crawled out of whatever cave he was in to call him a moron for being upset the film had women in it even though he said no such thing in the video. Meanwhile, Patton Oswalt’s snark toward the video got a buncha internet assholes making fun of his recently deceased wife. So there are reactionary jerks on both sides on this artificial internet war. Trolls trolling trolls all the way down.
(Artist conception of internet trolls.)
And that’s what this is. An artificial controversy made to promote a film. It has jack shit to do with gender politics other than what idiots project onto it. Sony is a studio struggling to not go fiscally bankrupt by continuing to be creatively bankrupt. Leaks from the studio show despicable or just plain stupid decisions. Producers were thinking of blackmailing Murray into the film by threatening to sue. And the ideas of male director Paul Feig show cluelessness and contempt for the original film. So instead of making a good movie, Sony shits out another remake and figures that just casting women in the film allows them to cry sexism as a defense against any criticism of the film. It’s not about feminism. It’s a giant studio’s corporate consumerism using feminism as a cheap marketing tool. Utterly disgusting. Even moreso that so many people are falling for this distraction tactic.
I really feel bad for the actresses stuck in this mess. Just like I don’t blame Garfield and Stone for being in Amazing Spider-man, I can’t blame McCarthy for jumping at this chance. Who wouldn’t want to be immortalized in plastic as part of a franchise you love?
Well. Too bad the movie was doctored by a studio full of producers that don’t care about quality as much as demographic tests and media buzzwords. Plus they have a male director that felt the need to reinvent the wheel in his own image. Not that Mattel did a great job with these figures anyway. Prior Ghostbusters toys were online exclusives to their Matty store or just apain to find. As much as I loved Ghosbusters, their website and ordering system was a hassle. Now we have this remake movie coming out so of course there are toys in the aisles of stores. They also have the big bad villain of the film. The ghost from the logo. No. Not even kidding. The main villain is the ghost from the logo because they do a whole “choose the form” scene like the original film and one of them thinks of the graffiti of the logo. It’s the lame build-a-figure for the toys, as if build-a-figure sets weren’t lame enough.
So this reboot is pretty much a lame remake of the original. One spot even has McCarthy shouting out “mass hysteria” just because it was in a quote in the original film. Again, I feel bad for the actresses stuck in this turd. They deserve better than this. Female audiences deserved a better ‘female Ghostbusters’ than this mess. Audiences no matter the gender deserve better filmmaking than this by the numbers studio committee first garbage. Ghostbusters fans deserved a movie made by people who loved the original, not just directors and producers wanted to use it as a franchise name on their personal resumes.
This is crap shoved out without any care for the property much like Amazing Spider-man. Sony is one of the worst studios around. Just go to wikileaks (or blogs that reported them) and check out some of the leaked internal emails and slideshows. Just look up “Sony leaks slides”. They thought After Earth was gonna be their next big franchise and planned all kinds of things for that M Night / Will Smith bomb. Too bad they didn’t plan for a good film first. A theme of Cloudy 2 was “Food & Man Living In Harmony”. They wanted to shoehorn selfies and EDM and some popular app into Spider-man films because their demographic tests with millennial said these random things were popular. Theyfigure people will just go see it because it’s “Spider-man” no matter the unrelated crap they stuff in. Quality of the film itself is secondary to the marketing tie ins, popular trends shoved into the film, and brand names in it. Sadly, that is how Sony sees female leads. It’s a trend they want to use to make money. Also sadly, tons of feminist bloggers and ‘journalists’ fell for this studio marketing and became Sony’s personal drones attacking anyone who dares to point out that emperor Sony has no clothes.
Slimer. Ecto-1. The Ghostbusters logo. They think they can just slap these into a cheap remake and it can be just as good a film and that makes it Ghostbusters. That’s how superficial these nitwits are. Feig even said in e-mails to the producers he wanted to make Ghostbusters more high tech. He misses that a charm of the original was the home brew working class comedy. These schmucks don’t understand the franchise they control. Marketing, especially with ‘nerd culture’ as a marketing gimmick, seeks to take this shell of a film and make it appealing through flashy ads and social media bullying. It’s a con to get people to buy an inferior product.
Not that this is the first time I’ve seen that with Ghostbusters.
The old Nintendo game. It was an exciting thing to see for fans of the movie and toon. We didn’t have the internet back then. We didn’t have an angry nerd posting videos online saying what garbage it was. We didn’t have previews or leaks from the company to tell us what a pathetic process the production was. We saw the logo and knew it was a game based in a movie we loved. We had no idea what a broken almost unplayable game it was. Only when some friends used a Game Genie at a party did I ever see this game come close to playable and be actually beatable.
The pictures on the box looked okay. It looked like at least a decent game. Much like trailers for a movie. Though the effects in the new trailers look overly flashy and years out of date. Actually, not out of date. Just cheap. Sony didn’t feel like spending on either practical models like the original or better computer generated models of ghosts. Of course, having decent graphics, like this game somewhat had for its time, isn’t everything. It is about capturing what made the original film had. Quite a task for an 8-bit Nintendo game. Yet it also was something Sony wasn’t interested or up to with millions upon millions of dollars in 2016.
Of course if we listen to the internet critics shilling for Sony, we can’t judge a movie until we’ve paid for 3D Imax tickets to see the film. So even if the film is terrible, we can’t judge that until we’ve given Sony money and given them hundreds millions in box office. How convenient. I didn’t realize a core concept of modern feminism was pandering to a giant multi-national corporation and giving them free marketing so their film can earn them piles of money. I guess you can’t just be a fan of an old film and be disgusted by how shallow and careless the studio’s cash in remake is.
And that’s what this is. A shallow remake. Ignore the first trailer talking about twenty years ago. It’s a remake. Well. Some rumors have it also as a somewhat prequel because Sony has the nerve to set up Zeul and Gozer for the sequel. Yes. That’s how uncreative they are treating this franchise. I bet Sony and MGM regrets not rebooting Robocop as Roboladycop. Then people might have blindly defended that turd in the name of some Punch & Judy show of gender politics in the media.
People need to stop supporting bad movies. It’s 2016 people. You can easily read up on these big name film and their production. Just because they put up some flashy trailers, that doesn’t mean shit. You can look up the production problems these movies have and realize which of these big studio productions are rotten. Ignore the spin doctors and marketing bs run by the studio. Stop funding the expensive junk these brainless bozos throw onto screens. Just because they own a franchise, it doesn’t mean they can make good movies with them. Stop funding their disasters.
And it isn’t as if Ghostbusters hasn’t had female Ghostbusters before. The cartoons and comics have done it and fans have loved those. There have been multiple figures of Janine that I have from both older and newer lines. While their movie figures were mostly online only, I did nab some based on the cartoons. If Sony really wanted female Ghostbusters, why not have Janine and Dana training new ones? They even talked about doing a franchise in the films. Nope. Feig wanted his own movie, the old one be damned… even if it’s the basis for his remake and they’re relying on the brand name created by mostly male actors. Sony only cares about the brand name, not the content of this remake.
Just like a certain Nintendo game. And we remember how that turned out.
Whoops. Oh shit. Some producer over at Comcast NBC Universal just had their nose twitch.